Being married to my best friend for 13 years, I’ve learned so much!! Like many couples, we’ve gone through our ups and downs and I would like to share the wisdom that I’ve learned along the way. Daily I’m still learning how to be the virtuous wife mentioned in Proverbs 31(she was a bad chick)? Check out some short “Marriage Moments” below:
Marriage Moment: SPICE. IT. UP
- Have an open conversation with your husband about the climate in your sex life.
- If the climate is low….take it up!
- If you both are in agreement, try something that’s new, fresh and exciting. Like buy some new lingerie, light candles, find some love music, try new positions. (These are just a few things)
Marriage Moment: DAILY AFFECTION
- Keep kissing, holding hands and caressing one another throughout the day.
- Show your affection to the man you love the most.
- A good sex life, starts outside the bed.
Marriage Moment: COMMUNICATE ABOUT YOUR DESIRES
For some reason, talking about sex is taboo in Christian marriages. It seems that we just don’t have open conversations about our likes and dislikes. However, I’ve learned that you have to be open and share with you spouse what you like and don’t like. You also have to be willing to compromise to ensure that both of you are satisfied. Sex is suppose to be a great experience for both of you. Having open communication about your sexual expectations is one of the keys to guard your marriage from infidelity.
Tips to take:
- Be open about your sexual expectations.
- Share what you like and how you like it. (You’ll be glad you did)
- Be willing to meet your spouses expectations the best you know how.
Marriage Moment:???? DATE NIGHTS
This is one that we’ve heard over and over again. Yet, it’s hard for us to be consistent in dating our spouse. We’ll start off with a few good dates, then life happens. We get busy with work, kids and sometimes we just don’t have the finances to go on dates. Listen….we have six children and for many years, dates we far and few in between. We’ve learned that date nights are what you make it.
A date is when you set aside quality, uninterrupted time with your husband. This can take place at home, the finest restaurant or even at Chick-fil-a! Just make sure the dating doesn’t stop. This will give you both time to reconnect, be open and remember why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place!
Tips to take:
- Don’t stop dating. You two decide what you can commit to so that you can be consistent in your dating. Whether that’s weekly dates or biweekly. (You don’t want to go too long without a date.)
- Date nights don’t always have to be extravagant or expensive.
- Make date night a priority and a time just for your spouse. No distractions from phones, text or work.
Marriage is a commitment and not always based on feelings. Let’s be real, we don’t always feel like we love our spouses….some days we don’t even like them. But in marriage we have to be committed to be our spouse’s ride or die regardless of our present feelings. We should have the mind set that we’re in this until the wheels fall off!! When we made the commitments at the altar, we should have meant every word of it. One thing about life and marriage, seasons change. There will be good and bad, easy and hard, plentiful and broke times. However, regardless of the time, at least you don’t have to go through these times alone. We see it too often that couples lose the value of staying committed to their marriage. We have to be willing to be committed by putting in the work to ensure that our marriages are healthy and each person is happy.
Tips to take:
1. Be your spouses’ ride or die and don’t quit until the wheels fall off?
2. Commitment is a choice, not a feeling.
1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
Sadly, many marriages have fallen into the trap of giving our electronics more attention than we give our spouse. Checking out social media before you check in with your spouse can never be healthy for any marriage. We can get caught up in the post and likes that we forget the person who’s opinion should matter the most to you.
Tips to take:
1. No phones during one-on-one conversations. Your spouse deserves your undivided attention.
2. No phones in the bed (I’m pretty sure we can find something else to do together:)
3. Greet your spouse in the morning before you check in with the rest of the world.
4. Make family time just that, family time. So if it’s dinner time, no electronics.